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Tax Quotes

Famous Quotes & Quotations About Taxes:

It was as true... as taxes is. And nothing's truer than them.
~ Charles Dickens.

It's about ten times the size of the Bible - and unlike the Bible, contains no good news.
~ Don Nickles - About the Internal Revenue Code.

It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta.
~ Dave Barry.

Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: animals have instincts, we have taxes.
~ Erving Goffman.

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.
~ F.J. Raymond.

Of all debts, men are least willing to pay their taxes; what a satire this is on government.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson Quotes.

Of course the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much any wording they want in there. I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene ("'Yes, yes, YES!' moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture").
~ Dave Barry.

Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
~ Benjamin Franklin Quotes.

Our tax code is so long it makes War and Peace seem breezy.
~ Steven LaTourette.

People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income.
~ Robert Half.

People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women.
~ Author Unknown.

Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either.
~ Mignon McLaughlin Quotes, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966.

Pothinus: Is it possible that Caesar, the conqueror of the world, has time to occupy himself with such a trifle as our taxes?
Caesar: My friend, taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world.
~ George Bernard Shaw Quotes, Caesar and Cleopatra.

Question: I understand that Congress is considering a so-called 'flat' tax system. How would this work?
Answer: If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your lawn for free, because Congress is NOT going to pass a flat tax, you pathetic fool.
~ Dave Barry.

Tax complexity itself is a kind of tax.
~ Max Baucus.

Taxation, for example, is eternally lively; it concerns nine-tenths of us more directly than either smallpox or golf, and has just as much drama in it; moreover, it has been mellowed and made gay by as many gaudy, preposterous theories.
~ H.L. Mencken.

Taxation with representation ain't so hot either.
~ Gerald Barzan.

Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society.
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt Quotes.

Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors.
~ Franklin D. Roosevelt Quotes.

Taxes grow without rain.
~ Jewish Proverb.

Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension.
~ Author Unknown.

The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing.
~ Jean Baptist Colbert - Attributed.

The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them.
~ Author Unknown.

The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here.
~ Steve Forbes.

The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
~ Ronald Reagan.

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